I was a much better mother (parent) before I had my own kid!
Your child will keep you holding on when your world is falling apart.
This is definitely a lesson that I learned after Calista was born and I struggled with Postpartum Depression. There really are a lot of factors that played into my PPD; I thought that I’d be a shoe-in for motherhood because I was always so great with kids, it came so natural to me, and kids always gravitated to me, I understood them, but unfortunately it wasn’t the case when she was born. Motherhood wasn’t really what I thought it was. Turns out that I wasn’t becoming the mother that I thought I would be.
Suddenly, all the demons that I fought before; fear, anxiety, sadness, had all come back at what was supposed to be the happiest time of my life! And I couldn’t handle it. I needed to reach out to a professional for help. I couldn’t do it alone.
I am a firm believer that the tough things in life take a village. Thankfully there is an unspoken village in the PPD community, but also in the community of people that I have formed around me. Friends, family, my fitness community, etc.
Yesterday was a follow up appointment with a psychiatrist about my PPD. I was going in hoping to come off of the medications. I am feeling so much better and ready to try healing without medications, but she made a valid point, one that I know well having worked in healthcare….often people come off of their medications too soon for the very same reason I am, they feel better. But that is the job of the medications, to make us better. So then, we come off too soon, without the right therapy and management, we sometimes go spiraling down. It was hard to hear, but I know its true. It takes work. But with my girl, and my man ;), and my village (that includes you all) by my side I am ready to put my hair up in a messy bun, drink me some coffee and handle this beast!
This whole PPD thing has really put a damper on my confidence, self-esteem, and mood. I find working out, being active, and eating healthy, harder than ever, but I look at my little girl and see how beautiful she is and it reminds me of the beauty and light within myself! We need to find what inspires us, we need to find our community of support, and not feel guilty about our troubles. WE ALL HAVE SOMETHING. We are all fighting something. I am here to share my journey in hopes to inspire and instill some hope in you all!
You guys, thanks for listening and being part of my village. Please continue to be my village, follow my story of how I am using my health, fitness, spirituality, etc in conjunction with the medications and therapy to heal by clicking below and liking, engaging, interacting, and sharing my Facebook page.
Much love xoxoxo